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 Jokes thread

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NICKY
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PostSubject: Jokes thread   Wed Dec 19, 2007 3:08 am

please post jokes here Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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mac
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Wed Dec 19, 2007 4:12 pm

Wales lol!



Well you did ask kissb
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Wed Dec 19, 2007 4:14 pm

Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right.
Mrs. Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had while making the toys. The reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. To make matters worse, they had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and had crashed it into a tree.
Santa was furious. "I can't believe it! I've got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours -- all of my reindeer are drunk, the elves are on strike and I don't even have a Christmas tree! I sent that stupid Little Angel out HOURS ago to find a tree and he isn't even back yet! What am I going to do?"
Just then, the Little Angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas tree. He says, "Yo, fat man! Where do you want me to stick the tree this year?"
And thus, the tradition of angels atop the Christmas trees came to pass....
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Wed Dec 19, 2007 4:21 pm

faf faf
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NICKY
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:58 pm

lol! lol! lol!
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alan

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Thu Dec 20, 2007 4:46 am

What food will decrease a woman's sex drive by 70 per cent?














Wedding cake.
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alan

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Thu Dec 20, 2007 4:48 am

Two cows standing next to each other in a field.

Daisy says to Dolly: "I was artificially inseminated this morning."

"I don't believe you," replies Dolly.

"It's true, no bull!"
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Thu Dec 20, 2007 4:59 am

lol! lol! lol!
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alan

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PostSubject: the blonde nurse   Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:51 am

Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. "She's incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards."
said one doctor. "Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours.
He nearly died on us!" The second doctor said, "That's nothing. Earlier this week, I told her to give a patient an enema every 24 hours. She tried to give him 24 enemas in one hour! The guy nearly exploded!"
Suddenly, they hear this blood-curdling scream from down the hall. "Oh my God!" said the first doctor, "I just realized I told Nurse Jenny to prick Mr. Smith's boil!" pale Suspect
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Tue Jan 15, 2008 5:02 am

faf faf

nice one Alan
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Thu Jan 17, 2008 4:52 am

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The Farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship.

To no avail, she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice and making life unbearable to the farmer and his new bride.

While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.

At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a man would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head, no and mumble a reply.

Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about. The farmer replied, "The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The men would ask, 'Can I borrow that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'
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PostSubject: british airways   Wed Jan 23, 2008 4:05 am

british airways are flying in their Chinese aircraft crash investigator to heathrow.
mr wat wen fu king wong arrives tommorow.
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Wed Jan 23, 2008 4:18 am

faf faf faf faf Some good ones there alan
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Wed Jan 23, 2008 8:41 am

Shocked lmaoo
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Wed Jan 23, 2008 3:56 pm

thumbs up
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PostSubject: a mate of mine   Fri Jan 25, 2008 4:45 am

a mate of mine has just married a lady from geneva. she can wash-up with one hand, cook dinner with the other, dust with one foot and open a beer with her other.




wait for it. you will groan





















shes a swiss army wife
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Mon Jan 28, 2008 8:04 am

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh! Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males , 2 Females," he replied.
"How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.


lol! lol! lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Mon Jan 28, 2008 8:15 am

lol! lol! lol! lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Mon Jan 28, 2008 10:14 am

lol! lol! clapping
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Mon Jan 28, 2008 1:13 pm

lol!
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PostSubject: arguments with the mrs   Wed Feb 13, 2008 6:13 am

my other half was getting the right hump with me and sport.
fishing, football, rugby etc always on the tv so i thought i would try and smooth things over so i booked us a table for 8pm by 9pm the situation was 10 times worse. she hadnt even managed to pot a red.
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Wed Feb 13, 2008 10:25 am

lol! lol! lol! lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Fri Feb 15, 2008 4:42 am

lol! lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Sun Feb 17, 2008 5:10 am

ui ui
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes thread   Sun Feb 17, 2008 5:15 am

i only know rude ones!!
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